For about the last couple of weeks I really wanted to write down my thoughts, and tonight is the night it looks like. Tomorrow it will be two weeks and times are exciting. First of all, I don't know what it is about October that makes me giddy, but it really does! It must be the change in the air, or something, but I just get this extra feeling of giddyness and I love it. It happens every year too, don't know why..
Second...for the past little while I have been very caught up in making sure we have everything we need for this little baby to come...Mom made us some way cute bedding which I am super excited about, and Janelle painted his dresser (Austin's dresser from when he was a baby), and I demolished the changing table by trying to be crafty. I need a diaper bag and that's about all that's left. We have received so many gifts from showers I feel overly blessed by it, and I am soooo thankful to everyone. Just some more organizing to do, and I think I'll feel ready.
As for the spiritual side of things I really haven't thought into as much as I thought, and should probably do. We went to Finn's (Jake my bro, and Nicoles new baby) blessing this weekend, and for some reason when he was being blessed I got emotional. It was just so sweet, and to think of this tiny little baby being right from heaven. He has so much potential, and is just starting his journey on this earth, but it's like I could feel his spirit, as a strong soldier and follower of Christ. It was just really touching, and it helped me think more spiritually about the little one that I am carrying inside. It truly is a little miracle. I love that God made it so they grow inside of us (as weird as it is sometimes). I have LOVED being pregnant and I never understood why girls have said that until now.
Sometimes when I think about having him in two weeks, I get really nervous because let's face it, I never baby sit, I like kids for about 10 minutes, and I've never ever been baby hungry. Every girl says it's different with their own child, so I am banking on that. But I do know this...I already love this baby, and hope that the motherly instinct will just kick in. When I start to think of it on a spiritual level I can't get over how peaceful I feel every time. It really is a divine plan to take care and nurture these babies. One of my friends has a baby that's two months and she cries all the time. I watched her soothe her yesterday and just thought to myself, I bet when she was up in heaven she knew the challenges that would face her with each child, but she gladly took on those responsibilities to make sure she grew up in a safe, secure place here. And she was called to have the crying baby because God knew that she could handle it, and still love her, as challenging as it is. Just a thought.
I can't wait to see what he looks like too. A couple of weeks ago we did a quick ultrasound to see if the baby's head was down, and we got to see his face. It wasn't 3-D, but it was a full on chubby baby face, no skeleton pics, and it made me SOOOO excited!
Just a couple more weeks and our little baby will be in our protection and care. It's so awesome that we can do it, even though it seems like something like this has never happened before, it's happened for thousands of years...For every couple it's new to them I guess. It really is a miracle for each family I think. I am getting so excited to see him, and feel a calming peace that surrounds the idea of it (probably because he knows how nervous I really am). But it will be awesome and I am so excited to see Austin hold him and take care of him too, I know I'll love it.
Anyway, I better be heading. I'm glad I got to write down my thoughts, just in case I don't before he comes. I love feeling him move around, and it's almost time. Better head.
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